Mawwiage

Our marriage is like a recycled tire monster: odd but lots of fun!

As of Saturday, A and I have been married one full year. And it’s been a pretty full year! I wrote a few reflections that I want to share. This won’t be the kind of thing you all dig. So feel free to skip right over it!

My marriage isn’t really a fairy tale, and I don’t generally feel called to describe it as “magical” or “breathtaking.” I think it’s fine for people to do that with their own story, each marriage is probably different. I don’t think Andy is necessarily my “soul mate”, because I don’t really think that’s real. Or maybe for some people it is, but not for us all.

I generally think that I got really lucky to meet and connect with a person when I was pretty young, I was open to a relationship at the same time he was. Somewhere along the way we decided that being with each other was so much better than not. I guess that seems like I’m leaving things out, and I kind of am. But nothing out of the ordinary (we dated, we fought, we made up, we fought louder, we made up, rinse and repeat).

I think that might sound dull, but it isn’t. Or perhaps that it lacks romance or grand, sweeping dramatic gestures. But, really, it’s just honest. Our relationship just has it’s feet firmly placed on the ground. It’s been that way for a long time. So, we got engaged, we planned a wedding (I am leaving a lot out here, planning the wedding was THE WORST) and we got married. And it was beautiful. Our friends and family were there and the whole wedding weekend was kind of like a 48 hour hug with all of the best people in my life. And then our marriage started. Here’s a little of what I learned:

1) Our issues are best solved over beers.
2) Our marriage isn’t about two people becoming one. It’s about two people sharing their lives while  still being individuals.
3) Whatever hard work our marriage requires, we get it back tenfold.
4) Marriage made me a better person. I’m slower to judge, I’m slowly learning to listen more and I am slower to assume I know what another person needs or wants.
5) A and I will never like the same TV shows. Except for Dexter. But everyone likes Dexter.
6) Plenty of people set their expectations for our marriage. The only expectations that actually matter are ours.